Tell Me This Is Not A Dream
by fightlikeachampion
Summary: Orphan Bella Swan had spent a whole life wondering about the two ivory crescent scars on her left wrist. Did the scars have anything to do with her life? Would she ever find out the secrets behind the scars, as well as her existence? ExB
1. Chapter 1: Turning 18

* The Twilight Universe belongs to the amazing Stephenie Meyer, I'm just playing around with it.

**Chapter 1: Turning 18**

_**13 September 2005**_

"Oh come on Bella! Stop being such a party pooper! Just wear it please?"

I grimaced at Alice's pout. Well, Alice was Alice. She knew that no one could possibly deny her anything when she put on such a pitiful face. I was used to being Bella Barbie to Alice, but this off-shoulder dress seemed much too extravagant for plain Jane me, even when it was for my 18th birthday. 'You only turn 18 once', that was Alice's excuse to spoil me. I just prayed that she wouldn't go over the top. I would rather have a simple birthday party at our home room in T-shirt and jeans.

18 years ago, I had been born. I knew nothing about my parents, except that I had been left outside the church. Sometimes, I wondered if they had ever thought of me, if they had ever wondered how their daughter would turn out after 18 years growing alone in the orphanage. Oh well, I guess not. They had left me with nothing outside the church on that autumn day, except two ivory crescent scars on my left wrist. Every time I stared at them, I felt a sharp pain in my heart. The scars would never fade; they would constantly remind me the bitterness I had tried to forget, I was simply unwanted.

Lucky enough for me, I had found a great friend, Alice, after leaving the orphanage. I had been sharing a dorm room with Alice for almost a year. She was an energy ball bouncing nonstop. It was such a nice change from the stone-cold faces of the sisters at the orphanage home that had haunted me for ages. Alice was like a sister I had never had. Her boyfriend, Jasper was so understanding to me; and it was a good thing that his sister Rosalie and her fiancée Emmett were equally accepting. I no longer felt like the little girl in the orphanage, crying myself to sleep because of the loneliness. Here I had a family.

"Bella, Bella are you done? Jasper is here already! And Rose and Emmett are already at the place! You can't be late for your own party!!!" Alice's scream cut me from my trail of thoughts. Knowing better not to cross with Alice, I slipped in the silver heels that Alice had left out for me and ran towards the door. If I tripped tonight, Alice was so going to pay.

I took the passenger's seat in Jasper's car. Alice had wanted to sit with me in the back, but I had convinced her to take the front seat. She was kind enough to try to make me not feel like a third wheel, but I knew better that she wanted to sit with her boyfriend. They had not been able to spend a lot of time together lately, with the heavy school work and what not. Leaning back to the seat, I watched Alice and Jasper holding hands and smiling with each other the whole time. It had been so natural for them; Alice had told me that the moment she saw Jasper, she knew immediately that he was the one. Alice had been so lucky to have found her half, but would I ever find mine?

***

"A night club! Alice are you out of your mind?"

"No Bella, it is a night club. It is the place where you are spending your birthday." Alice looked at me, her eyes full of persuasion such that all my doubts vanished. "It is your 18th birthday, and the first day you can legally enter a night club", she smirked, "not that I wouldn't sneak you in before if you wanted, but I think it is a good way to celebrate. Loosen yourself a bit. Just relax okay?"

At a loss of words after her speech, I simply nodded. Alice came back to her bubbly self, and took me in. We made it through the flood of people, and arrived at our table, where Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper were already waiting.

"Here is my favourite klutz!" Exclaimed Emmett as he gave me a hug so tight I could barely breathe. Rosalie was much gentler; her "Happy Birthday!" was muffled by the crazy loudness of the surrounding.

"Here are our drinks!" The velvety voice startled me. I looked up only to find a bronze-haired guy approaching our table with a tray of drinks on his hand. I found myself drowning in his incredible emerald eyes, and I was kicked out of my own bubble only when I heard Emmett cleared his throat with a cough. Apparently, the mysterious guy chuckled.

"Aww it's about damn time Bella start looking for a boyfriend. She is _old_ enough." Jasper whistled, and I playfully kicked his leg under the table. It was unfair to be teased like that, all the time.

"Not to be rude, but who is your friend here?" I asked, trying to keep my voice even.

"Edward Cullen, pleasure to meet you." The guy, Edward, introduced, his velvety voice filling my ears again.

"Oh, so you are Emmett's and Alice's brother? Wow, finally I get to meet you. I'm Bella."

"He already knew that dear, since he insisted on attending your birthday party." Rosalie said, jokingly. Wait, Edward knew about me and _wanted_ to see me? That was strange. And insanely incredible.

"Well, since you _insisted_ on attending my birthday party," I looked at Edward, trying to sound casual, but my voice failed me completely, "where is my present?"

Edward let out a chuckle. "Well, I have it already, but I believe you would want Alice's one first."

His answer surprised me. He actually prepared one for me? Probably I was the only girl in the world who detested presents. But again, how could I ever escape Alice?

"Yep, it's time birthday girl get some presents!" Alice squealed and tossed a small pink box at me. "Open it, it's from me and Jazz."

"Tell me it doesn't cost a lot." I frowned at the little pixie, trying to look serious. I floundered a bit as I tried to keep the wrapping paper intact. Underneath was a small box, inside a beautiful silver bangle bracelet. Gingerly, I touched the delicate jewelry with my finger tip. The oval turquoise on the bracelet made it look so antique, and yet so beautiful. I looked at Alice questioningly; Alice wouldn't be able to lie; this must have cost a fortune, not to mention that she knew perfectly I was not a fan of jewelry.

"Look, Bella, before you say anything, I know you don't wear bangle and stuff, but just hear me out." Some psychic she was to guess my reaction. "I want you to wear it, it's so pretty! And it can hide your scar perfectly…"

Alice stopped talking as she seemed to realize how tense I suddenly got. The scar. Instinctively I looked down at my left wrist. They were the key to my history, the only link I had to my birth parents. What could my life have been, if they had never left me? Granted that my parents had never wanted me, would I be able to forget about them and move on with my life?

"Bella," Rosalie spoke up for the first time, her voice so gentle and kind. "Alice doesn't mean for you to forget who you are, but it's time you move on from it. Whoever you are, whoever your parents are, it doesn't matter. Now you are 18, it's your life to live. Don't let the scar pull you back, you know?"

I was at a loss for words. I was simply touched by Rosalie's words. But could I give up this part of me, and move on? My fingers were absentmindedly tracing the crescent scars. Who was I? Why had my parents left me? What had happened to me?

"Bella."

"Bella, come back!"

"Bella, don't scare us, wake up!"

"Bella!"

Suddenly, there were so many voices calling my name, drowning out the craziness of the night club. Alice's, Jasper's, Rosalie's, Emmett's. They were all calling me, asking me to come back, but where? Wasn't I already here?

"Bella, are you okay?"

I startled, and looked up at the sound of the velvety voice calling my name. Immediately I was drowning in the emerald greenness of Edward's eyes. They were so deep that I felt like there was a story behind them, begging me to discover.

It was so strange. I had never seen him in my life, but I felt as if I had known Edward all along, as if he had been a piece in the puzzle of my life that I had never been able to solve.

I kept staring into his eyes. I couldn't even utter a word.

Flickers of images appeared in my vision, but I could hardly focus.

Edward's eyes.

The ivory scars.

The turquoise bangle.

Was this what you called 'being hypnotized', when you could hardly tell where you move when voices started filling your head and images started blinding your eyes?

Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, Alice.

The bangle. The scars.

Edward.

And darkness.


	2. Chapter 2: The betrothal

**Thank you all for reading my story! I'm new at all this writing, but I hope my story won't disappoint you all.**

**Disclaimer: The Twilight universe belongs to the genius Stephenie Meyer.  
**

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**Chapter 2: The betrothal**

_**13 September 1905**_

I had the feeling that I had been asleep for a long time; my body was stiff as if I had not moved at all for a long time. My mind was slow and dazed, the strange dream last night still lingering in my mind. The strange way I was dressed in, the ghostly ivory scars on my left hand and the cold metallic feeling of the turquoise bangle- all felt too real to be just a dream.

It must have been the side effect of the liquor that I had consumed the previous night.

I had been told that a fine lady was not to drink at all, not to mention to get drunk like this, but I simply could not care less. I had begged Emmett to let me drink the night before, silently hoping that the liquor would help me drown me into unconsciousness throughout today, the day I had dreaded for years.

The day I officially turned 18.

The day my betrothal to Edward was officially activated.

Apparently, the strong liquor did not help much. I groaned as I saw the dusk setting. I still had a few more hours to go before the dawn of the next day came.

I still had to face Edward.

It was ironic, as I resorted to liquor only to escape from the impasse; and yet in my dream, I dreamt of Edward. The way his emerald eyes were boring into my soul had sent me chills and longing- a mixture of feelings that no words could possibly describe. My cheeks were burned just at that thought. Was it how marriage supposed to be? I had no idea, but I was most certain that there was no romance between us. Our marriage was simply an obligation.

I had known Edward for my entire life. After my father died because of illness when I was 3, his best friends, Edward's parents, Carlisle and Esme Cullen adopted me and brought me up with his children, Emmett, Edward and Alice. I had gotten along best with Alice; she was my confidante; she understood about how uneasy I felt about the betrothal with Edward and I had the feeling that she was on my side, even though she was Edward's sister. Emmett was my partner in crime, or so to speak; he was not at all judgmental about my rebellion. He supported me in all my reckless endeavours, like the drinking incident last night, just to name one. Without him, I would already have been suffocated with boredom in the stifling mould of a woman taking care of domestic affairs in this society.

As much as I appreciated the presence of Emmett and Alice, I could only say that Edward and I were on agreeable terms. We used to be friends when we were young, but now we merely exchanged civil conversations. We had grown into two different poles of a magnet. Edward was a man of few words; he was circumspect in any endeavours he chose to pursue. He thought too much. He knew not how to tease; he hardly laughed; I wondered if he ever had any pleasure in life at all. I was positive that he would ever approve of anything reckless that I did for fun. Perhaps, he had outgrown me. Perhaps he had grown tired of me, the girl who had unrightfully taken a place in his family. Perhaps he had been wishing that I had never existed.

I had been told that Charlie Swan, my father, and Carlisle Cullen had betrothed Edward and me at my birth. Although later Carlisle had told me that he could annul the betrothal if any of us was unhappy with it, I had decided to go with it. As much as I disliked Edward's reserved nature, I had no intention to defy my father's wish. However, Edward's reaction had taken me aback. I had been so sure that he had detested my character so much that he would have chosen to annul our betrothal; yet he agreed to it. Since both of us showed had no opposition, our marriage would take place later this year. Esme was ecstatic, but I was wary. I wouldn't dare wish for connubial bliss. It would be miraculous if we could refrain from disagreement for just a day.

I decided that it was time to get up and go down to find the family. Carlisle and Esme would think that I was sick if I chose to stay in bed all day; and Alice would not be pleased if she did not get to see me today. However, I could not care less about that. The thought of getting married to Edward already terrified me to no end.

I held on to the railing of the grand staircase to keep me from falling down. My legs felt wobbly, my head ached terribly. Emmett was at the end of the stair case, as if he was about to go up to check on me. He welcomed me with a warm brotherly hug.

"Happy birthday, my dearest sister! You sure have been unconscious for a long time! Are you feeling well?"

"I'm fine, Emmett." I told him truthfully. "I still had a bad headache though."

"I should never have let you drink." He admitted, his voice full of remorse. I quickly soothed him.

"It was my choice, really. Remember our story?" Emmett nodded, his eyes still worried. We had agreed to keep my drinking experience a secret. We would tell Carlisle and Esme that I had been worn out by the walk to town the day before, so that they would not have been worried too much. Hopefully they would believe it, but I was not sure if the perceptive Edward would buy our story though.

Emmett led me into the reading room; the whole family was there. Carlisle and Esme were sitting next to each other on the couch, hand in hand lovingly. Alice and Jasper, her husband, were looking into each other's eye as they always did; I felt as if I was intruding their private moment just by looking at their loving gaze. Rosalie, Emmett's wife was waiting for Emmett to return. Meanwhile, Edward was engrossed in a book, as usual. The thought of Edward and I as a couple struck me again; we could never be the perfect couple like Carrlisle and Esme, the passionate lovers like Emmett and Rosalie, or the understanding husband and wife like Jasper and Alice. What would become of us? Only time, I guessed could give us the answer.

I reluctantly took my place next to Edward, while the family enquired me about my exhaustion. Fortunately, everybody seemed to be happy with my explanation of my 'walk' with Emmett, and enquired no more.

"Now that you are well, I hope we can give you your presents now!" Alice squealed in excitement, as I groaned internally. While I detested presents of all kinds, the Cullens, especially Alice appeared to find great pleasure in indulging me. Even though they were one of the wealthiest families in town, it pained me to think of the money they spent on me. Their love and care for me in all those years was the most perfect gift that I could ever wish for; they needed not pain themselves with the chore of getting me gifts.

Alice handed me a beautiful velvet box. "This is from me and Jasper. Open, quick!" Always impatient, that was Alice. She always must have been the first,

I gingerly opened the box. It was just like a déjà vu; inside the box was a beautiful silver bangle with an oval turquoise that I was absolutely positive I had seen it before. As Alice put it on my left hand, it fitted perfectly. And it felt familiar, almost comforting to have the bangle there. As if the bangle had been on my hand for forever.

I thanked Alice and Jasper sincerely, but the awkward feeling did not leave me. It must have been a side effect of the liquor, I told myself. Next, Emmett and Rosalie gave me a bounded leather notebook for me to write my diaries. Carlisle and Esme gave me a book, called 'Pride and Prejudice' by Jane Austen. It was so nice of them all to realize how much pleasure I had in reading and writing; I felt so blessed to be taken care of, to be loved. I felt tears streaming down my cheeks, but I was not at all embarrassed. They were tears of love, and thankfulness; I was a girl of no possession, no family; without the Cullen I would never have had such a joyful life. I could only hope that the tears would speak for themselves, and for my gratitude and love for them which no words could possibly expressed.

"Dearest Bella, why are you crying?" I could feel Esme's hands rubbing my back, trying to comfort me.

Jasper spoke up for the first time, his voice too comforting and melodious. "Remember, you are a part of our family. We love you, you know?"

I tried unsuccessfully to stop the tears. "Thank you." I tried to articulate myself, but I could not find the right words. "This is too much. You already gave me my life, I don't need anything…"

"Nonsense Bella." Alice jokingly scolded me. "No one in the Cullen family would go through a birthday without well wishes and meaningful presents. Besides," she hinted, looking at Edward meaningfully, "there is another present that you haven't gotten yet."

I was mortified. The presents they gave me were already too much. I looked at Edward, searching for his expression, but found none. He smiled at me, but his lips were tight, his body stiff. I could not imagine what in the world would have gotten him so nervous. Was it about my present?

"Well, Bella, you honestly did not think that I would not give you any thing for your birthday? I thought I was better than that." Edward looked at me, giving me his crooked smile that I had not seen in years. "However, I would appreciate some privacy. Would you mind?" Edward looked at the others, silently asking them to leave. I was stunned. Everyone got on their feet, and smiled at us knowingly. I silently prayed that he had not planned for a proposal, or anything of that sort. I had not prepared myself to keep my composure, to say 'Yes' to him. _Yet_. I knew that day would come anyway, but I hope to delay it as far as possible. In truth, I hoped the day would never come at all.

"Bella," His voice made me jump in my seat. I heard a chuckle from him, and I blushed. 'Keep it together Bella!' I chanted in my head. I could not show him how uncertain I was.

"This is my present for you. Happy birthday." Edward said softly as he put a small velvet box in my hand. I shuddered. It couldn't be a ring, could it? No, it could not be; he had not been on his knee yet.

I opened the box, my finger shaking with fear. Not a ring. I let out a sigh with relief. It was a golden heartshape locket. It was beautiful.

"I haven't scared you, I hope?" I shook my head, my eyes still glued to the locket. What could it possibly mean? Gently, Edward took it out of my hands and looked into my eyes. "I know you have an aversion against jewelry, but please see it as a representation of my heart. I know that we were bound by the betrothal, but believe me, I would give you my heart regardless. As skeptical of me as you are right now, would you accept it and give me a chance to show you my love for you?"

I was speechless. That was a lot to take in. He loved me. He was not indifferent as I had thought. I was the indifferent one, the insincere one, committing to marriage only to fulfill my father's wish.

What had I gotten myself into?

Refuse the locket, and I went against my father's wish. Receive it, and I would be bound to Edward forever.

I looked up, only to see the sincerity and hope in Edward's eyes. Who was I to receive all the love and care from the Cullen and then to refuse Edward's love?

I could only nod as Edward happily helped me wear the locket around my neck. I fingered the heart absentmindedly, completely aware of Edward's cheerfulness that I had not felt in years.

Oh dear Lord, forgive me if I was to break the man's heart.

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**So Bella's day in 2005 was just a dream, or so it seemed to her. Bella belonged to the world of a century in the past. She was a natural rebel, while Edward was a rational man, completely in love with her. Will Bella break his heart, or will he find love with her?**

**I'm excited to hear what you think, so review! You know that reviews will bring the next chapter come faster.**

**xoxo Abby.**


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